


A Dictionary of Demonic Departures

by freyjawriter24



Series: Writing prompts and challenges [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale isn't really in it but he's important to Crowley so I added the relationship tag anyway, Dictionary Definitions, Fallen Angels, Gen, Heaven, Heaven & Hell, Scene: St James's Park 1862 (Good Omens), this one's a bit angsty and dark tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freyjawriter24/pseuds/freyjawriter24
Summary: Crowley had fallen many times, over his more than six millennia of existence. But he hadn’t Fallen in the way most demons had. Not in the typical sense, at least.***This fic is my entry for the GO Events server's verb roulette writing challenge, in which I take literally TV!Crowley's line “I didn’t really Fall. I just, you know... sauntered vaguely downwards.”
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Writing prompts and challenges [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805341
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42
Collections: Verb Roulette





	A Dictionary of Demonic Departures

**Author's Note:**

> The phrase 'sauntered vaguely downwards' is one of the most recognisable and iconic in Good Omens, but when I came to watch the TV show, I found it massively jarring to hear it coming from Crowley himself. There is a certain level of near-humorous self-awareness in the line coming from Crowley rather than the narration, and it eventually set me thinking on what it would mean if that line was actually meant literally. This is the result.
> 
> Thank you to [rogueholmes](https://rogueholmes.tumblr.com/)/[Tiny_Dragongirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiny_Dragongirl/pseuds/Tiny_Dragongirl) for running this challenge! And thank you to whoever submitted my prompt - it finally gave me the kick up the backside I needed to actually put this idea into words.
> 
> See the end notes for which of the verbs defined here was actually my prompt for this challenge...!

There were many things said that day which Crowley would replay over and over again in his head throughout the decades to come. _“Fraternising”_ , of course. _“Suicide pill”_ , yes. The poor explanation of _“insurance”_ , without a doubt. Honestly, that entire conversation on loop to its heart-shattering conclusion.

But there was another instant he kept coming back to, in his more reflective moments. One that probably – hopefully – passed Aziraphale by.

_“I didn’t really Fall...”_

* * *

> **to fall**  
>  _verb_  
>  to move from a higher to a lower level, typically rapidly and without control;  
>  to be captured or defeated;  
>  to yield to temptation [archaic].  
>  Also used in a number of phrases with specific meanings, such as ‘to fall for’.

* * *

Crowley had fallen many times, over his more than six millennia of existence.

He’d fallen in the war, that first one, before the concept even had a name. He’d fallen in the group sense, defeated by those who would form the current residents of Heaven, captured alongside those who would form the current denizens of Hell.

He’d fallen from favour, certainly, and many a time. From the favour of his fellow angels, from the favour of God Herself, and even – however temporarily, however superficially – from the favour of Aziraphale. It hurt, every time. He should be used to it. He never was.

He’d fallen for other things, too. Jokes, tricks, set-ups. He’d fallen for Shadwell’s operation, of course, but at least he wasn’t the only one that had fallen for that.

He’d fallen for temptation a few times, too. He’d fallen for Aziraphale’s enticements – the Bastille, the nunnery, the Globe. He’d fallen for oysters in Rome, crepes in Paris, lunch in London.

He’d fallen for Aziraphale. Hard, fast, and enduring. No matter how he tried to hide it, it was obvious to everyone. Even, eventually, the angel himself.

But he hadn’t Fallen in the way most demons had. Not in the typical sense, at least. Not in the dictionary definition, ‘rapidly and without control’ – not at first, anyway. Freestyle dive into boiling sulphur, yeah, wings on fire and burned so deep the soot would never come out, sure – but that came later. Not much later, but a bit. Enough to make a difference.

He’d come close to explaining this to Aziraphale a couple of times. Once was at the park, just before he fell from favour once again.

_“I just, you know... sauntered vaguely downwards.”_

* * *

> **to saunter**  
>  _verb_  
>  to walk in a slow, relaxed manner, typically seen as casual or cool.

* * *

It wasn’t vague. It was direct, intentional, inevitable. It was just slightly less vertical than for everyone else.

Heaven had never thought of the concept of a trial. It wasn’t necessary, to begin with – everything was Perfect, everyone was Good, there was no such thing as Bad or Wrong or Evil. Nothing that would require a trial at all.

And then came the war. Conflict reared its ugly head, and Crowley – with a different name, different wings, different eyes, different face – was caught in the middle.

“You are sentenced,” the Metatron had said, voice booming out over the no-longer-angels, not-yet-demons. “To Fall. She has created an edge to Heaven, and you will be thrown over it.”

“But _why_?” not-yet-Crowley had asked. Had always asked. Was always asking. Kept asking, even after it happened. “That’s not _fair_.”

“Who are you to judge what is fair?” came the answer, and so not-yet-Crowley watched as the no-longer-demons lined up behind their leader to be thrown into the abyss.

Lucifer was the first. He snarled back at the Metatron, at the Archangels stood there too, and then he was flung away, downwards, wings snapped and useless, no choice but to Fall.

An edge of Heaven tilted down with him, pointing the way to the emptiness beneath. A slope that would one day become stairs, would one day be animated into escalators. That would one day rest on the surface of the not-yet-created Earth.

The rest of the soon-to-be-demons followed. Some screamed as their feathered limbs shattered, some bit down on stony silence as they allowed themselves to be manhandled over the edge. Some fought back; most complied. All went crashing downwards, limp and burning.

Then only the angels remained. Not-yet-Crowley looked out at the emptiness of Heaven in confusion.

“This doesn’t make _sense_.”

“Of course it does. She has decided their sentence, and they have been punished to the letter of Her judgement. That is all the sense we need.”

“But _why_?”

There were more words said – calmly, then in anger, in confusion, in disgust. In fear.

Eventually, not-yet-Crowley was left with a choice. A choice with only two, terrible options.

Stay and conform. Or rebel and leave.

* * *

> **to leave**  
>  _verb_  
>  to go away from.  
>  Also to allow or cause to remain, or to abandon, as in ‘leave behind’.

* * *

Crowley, before he was ever called Crowley, chose to leave. He left Heaven, fists clenched at his sides, stepping forwards onto the slope at the edge of his known universe, and he left Heaven behind.

It was not a saunter, not really. It may have been slow, but it was not relaxed. It may have been cool, but it was not casual. What it definitely was, was a going away. There was a deliberateness to it, a permanence, and a pain to it as well.

He disappeared down the slope of Heaven, and did not look back.

When the slope ended, he was not thrown off the edge. He paused, stared deep into the void – and then he jumped.

Free will was always important to Crowley. Mostly because it made him who he was.

**Author's Note:**

> **My prompt was 'leave'.**
> 
> Thank you for reading! Sorry this wasn't the most uplifting of fics, but I hope you still enjoyed it. If you're up to it, let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone else in the GO Events server who played along with this challenge. Can't wait to read your fics...!


End file.
